My Live Shadow
by Hannahcrosswell
Summary: He was always there, watching her. She could feel him, never see him. He always hung behind her like a shadow, exactly like a shadow. Most people thought she was crazy, but she knew she wasn't. Clary Fray had never in her wildest dreams imagined she would ever see her shadow, but, little does she know she is mere steps away from doing just that. DARK. Clace.
1. Figuring Things Out

_Clarys POV_

He's always there, watching me. I know he is. I can feel his gaze burning into my back whenever he's near. I've never seen him, but I've heard him. I hear his taunting, menacing voice in my ear, so soft, so only I can hear him, but loud enough to awaken the madness that has been stirring inside of me for a long time now. I couldn't control it, I've been trying for so long now, but it only seems to make it worse. I've learned to stop trying to fight away his presence, fighting only got me a step closer to being institutionalized.

I glanced behind me quick as lightning and saw nothing but a quick streak of gold, a trick of the light, I assumed.

He was here. I could feel him again, breathing down my back and I turned to my friend Isabelle in a failed attempt to distract me from my surroundings. I sat in my bedroom, the wind howling outside, making my anxiety far worse than it was already.

"Hello," Isabelle sighed, I didn't know what she was sighing out of. Joy; sorrow? I couldn't tell. I did know that I could mimic her sadness perfectly though, if she was if fact unhappy. I sighed after her,

"Hello," I wasn't smiling; I knew that. I rarely ever smiled anymore. I looked down towards my outstretched hands, in a daze.

I soon glanced over to Isabelle's thoughtful face. She was my best friend, with her black locks waving over her shoulders, modest white dress going past her knees and to the ground, it fit her baggily. Her earnest dark stare met mine and I questioned,

"How do you do that?" Even I could here the jealousy seeping it's way into my tone. She cocked her head to the side in a teasing way,

"Do what?" She asked, answering my question with a question. I knew that she already knew what I was talking about which agitated me. Isabelle had been here with me for about 8 years now, always helping me through struggles when I needed her. She never told me tat me stalker wasn't real though; she said that we may never know. I licked her because of that, always so honest. I couldn't help envy her perfection sometimes though.

"You know what I mean-" I was cut off by my brother, Jonathan, making an abrupt entrance into my room.

"Hey, Clary. Watch ya doing?" He eyed me wearily. I don't get why people ask questions they obviously know the answer to, I mean come on, I was obviously talking to Isabelle, but decided to answer anyways,

"Just talking with Izzy," I shrugged towards her, in an act of recognition to her. That's what I called her, Izzy. It fit her far more than Isabelle and she seemed to like it.

"Ah," he looked relieved, but at the same time, I could see a hint of worry hinting it's way into his eyes. I decided not to question it, best not ask questions you might not want the answer to.

"Hey, Izzy," he said, looking to my left, which didn't make much sense considering Izzy was to my right.

"Um. Jon, what are you looking at?" I gave him one of those looks that said 'you haven't gone mad, have you?' He just replied with a laugh and looking again to my right,

"Sorry Izzy, must have gone blind for a minute there, yeah?" She scoffed,

"Ha! It's fine, Jon, see ya later," Jon, without replying, stepped through the exit and closed the door behind him. I knew Jon couldn't see Izzy, or, at least it seemed that way. Jon never responded to what Izzy said and his gaze never directly fastened on her when she spoke as our gazes locked when we spoke. My emerald eyes stayed locked to the door as I voiced my thoughts,

"Izzy, why can't he see you?" I was still locking at the door, so I couldn't see her when she answered, but, obviously, I could hear her,

"I'm just different, Clary. Different is good, okay?"

I nodded, "Okay," we spent the rest of that that in silence, thinking, and in my case, sleeping. I could never seem to get enough of it these days, slumber that is.

"Okay?" "Okay," John Greens quote! TFIOS! Time Lapse…

It was the next morning and I was dreading school, like the few other children on my block. I was a failing student, I couldn't grasp the concepts like my peers could and I had given upon trying to keep my grades up about the same year I started getting made fun of for it. All of my friends scattered the moment a foul name was uttered in my direction, they had said they loved me and I said I loved them; we HAD been friends for 11 years, 11 years I regret now. Love is just a big, fat, jinx. People will say them love you, and you might just believe them, but when the time comes to prove that love, they will be cowering in the closest corner, afraid and not able to do anything about it. I have never believed in love sense that day in the eighth grade.

So here I am, junior year in high school, the place where all you're dreams or all of your most terrifying nightmares will come true. It's a land of opportunity, and I was still to afraid to set sail. I was friendless, apart from Izzy, and was pretty much the largest, shyest failure you will ever meet. I can't remember the last time I truly smiled and I wore dark colors. Not always black, sometimes grey or brown, and that's one of the main reason people hate me. I'm not the most welcoming person on the planet; in fact, I'm pretty far from it. If a child were to look me in the eye, I'd bet money they'd burst into tears and hide behind their mothers. Mothers. They're overrated anyways. My brother and I had darted away from our so-called 'mother' as soon as he was old enough to take custody of me. Now he worked his ass off every day working triple shifts split between the grocery store and gas station to be able to pay for our, food, clothing, and shelter. We didn't have much for than that and our house was pretty bare. I felt bad that I couldn't help pay for everything, but Jon insists I stay home most of the time, I don't know why, but I don't argue, I never argue with Jon, If it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't even be here.

I navigated my way through the halls and up the stairs to find my locker, number 423. The regular blue paint was tainted with an ugly, _whore_, in bulky, scarlet, letters. I internally kicked myself even though I knew the proclamation was not true. I was a never kissed, virgin, but, at my school, people believe the craziest things if the right people tell them. I opened my locker; I was late, missed the bus and had to walk seven miles in the spring rain to get here. I seized my books out of my plain tan locker and started walking to class, head bowed, fiery red hair curtaining my face.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I could hear breathing, just behind me, I shiver of terror ran through my veins, leaving what felt like Icy, polar trail. I turned behind me and was blinded with gold.

_Gold._ Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. It's the flash I see every time I look away from the shadows. It's the one thing I see whenever I happen to look in just the right spot at just the right time. Gold hair, gold eyes, hell, even his skin seemed to be radiating a bit of gold.

_This_ was my shadow. _This_ is what has been haunting me for the past years. The feelings coursing through me were hard to describe. Terror, definitely, shock, for sure, and even a little bit of relief, from finally figuring out what it was that had been lingering behind me through half of my life.

I gasped and I suppose he took this as a sign to do something. He raised a black-gloved fist and knocked me on the forehead. The last thing I saw before passing into a realm of darkness was golden-eyes staring at me coldly, filled to the brim with arrogance.

**AN- Sorry if theirs any grammar mistakes in here! This is only my second fanfiction and reviews are always helpful! So please, REVIEW! (Please) I'll try to update soon, maybe in the next two weeks, but I can't promise anything. Until next time, I love you all.**

**-Annie**


	2. Jace Wayland is insane

**AN- Hey guys, I know I haven't updated recently and I don't want to make excuses but I have got a pretty good one so I'm going to say it, there is something wrong with my throat (possibly ribs or lungs as well) that's effecting my breathing pattern so… yeah. Writing hasn't necessarily been the top thing on my to do list. I've been in and out of doctor's offices and it just sucks, I have another one coming up Thursday as well as an X-ray. Sorry, again, but here I am now so YAY!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own The Mortal Instruments series, obviously. **

**Now, on to the story…**

_POV Clary_

I woke up to a sea of black, completely black. Well, shades of black that is. I was confused for a moment as to where I was and than recalled the events of this morning. Was it this morning? I can't remember. All I knew was that it was close to the middle of the night, and I was in a completely white bed in a completely white room that looked grey caused by the lighting.

I had a splitting head ache that only worsened when I sat up. I rubbed my temples and walked towards the colorless door. I reached for the handle only to find it to be locked. I shook it some more, which resulted in nothing but loads of noise for my captivator to hear and come towards me, exactly what I did not want to happen. I sighed and headed back to the unexpectedly conferrable bed to, to, I didn't know. I didn't know what I was going to do now. I was as good as dead and I knew it.

That boy had been stalking me from a young age and I knew that nothing decent could come out of it. I lay down and stared at the celling, picturing how Jon and Izzy were feeling right now. Did they notice my absence? Have they already begun to search for me?

It was only minutes before I heard footsteps from the hall and a doorknob moving. _My doorknob._ My breathing hitched and my brain seemed to freeze, not comprehending anything that happened except for that tiny movement at the entrance. I looked at the door from the corner of my eye, not looking at it with my whole face out of alarm from what lies behind it. My whole body was tense as the door began to open.

I screamed.

I screamed as loud as I could, hoping somebody would hear me and help me. _Please somebody help me._ I was chanting that phrase in my head time and time again, without knowing whom I was talking to. I didn't believe in god. To me, his existence was absurd. After all, how could there be a god in a world with so much pain and suffering?

The boy, dressed in all black, came over to me with grace, and promptly shut me up.

With a knife.

"By the angel, shut up. It's me," his voice was laced with a British accent, his voice under different circumstances, probably would have been soothing. But in this instant, I couldn't really bother with his voice much. The knife was slightly skimming my throat, not enough to draw any blood though.

The boy took one look at my terror filled eyes and sighed,

"You don't remember me, do you?" He removed the knife from my throat and took a step back.

"It's fine I suppose, it happens every once and a while. I'm Jace," He extended his hand to me, in what I would guess to be a kind gesture but all I was seeing was the weapons. He had at least five on him at the moment, and that only brought one word to mind, _murderer._ He had to be trying to kill me, and assuming he hadn't done it already, he must be the type to torture his victims until their screams were so piercingly loud, so full of pain, they begged to be killed.

I scooted back away from him as far as the bed would allow me to go. He sighed, once again,

"Look, I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I DO know you, and actually, you know me as well, very well if I might add," he winked. He_ winked_; so not only did he lie to me, he had the nerve to _wink_ at me. He is insane; I know it for sure now. HE took a step towards he bed,

"Get away from me!" I shouted, putting my hands in front of my face, a weak attempt to shield my face from harm. I was shaking with distress, when I felt a hand of my shoulder. I screamed, again, and again but nobody came. Maybe I was alone. Maybe it was just my kidnapper and I. I realized it was useless to scream anymore, nobody was going to hear me, and I couldn't bring myself to care.

It was my turn to sigh, turning my eyes towards the ground. Jace removed his hand from my mouth,

"Just do it," I give up. He is armed and taller, has about 100 pounds on me, and has a perfect amount of muscle in all the right places. There was no way I was going to win this fight.

"Do what?" He looked genially confused and now I was confused as well, isn't he going to murder me?

"Kill me… torture me, don't rape me please though, please. I don't know what guys like you want. Just, kill me. Make it quick." I closed me eyes, in preparation for the blow; but it never came.

"Okay, well, this is the most out of it I have ever seen you. This is going to take some explaining so, lets do some friendly Q &amp; A, yeah?"

I just started at him. Obviously, he noticed,

"Look, I know I'm stunningly attractive, but that doesn't give you the right to stare at me all the time," I kept my silence.

"Fine, whatever, don't talk to me. But you'll have to eventually," I watched as he got up and went out the door. I waited a good few seconds before letting out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding in.

Okay, so clearly this guy was out of his mind. Hoe do you run away from a crazy person? I thought for a long while but still, had nothing.

"Hello,"

"Oh thank god Izzy," I gasped in surprise. "How did you get in here? That guy is mental, did you see him?"

"Yes, I saw; and I have my ways," her face remained expressionless while my jaw was slack with shock. She wore her usual white gown and usual hairstyle, down with nothing special done to it, just straight.

"Well, we have to get out of here before he comes back to kill us," I gabbed her hand and headed to the door, and she quickly shook me off.

"Do you think he's stupid? I saw at least three other men of his size out there guarding the exit we wont make it out. Stay here and I will come back for you," She didn't give me a chance to react before she was gone. I don't know how, but she was gone.

I went back to the bed and sat, than I lay, and than I thought. I thought of everything and nothing and all in between. I thought of Jace, and Izzy, and Jon and my chances of survival. I shut my eyes, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

**AN- So, there it was. There's no telling when I'll update next. Sorry, but I just finished season 5 of Supernatural on Netflix and I'm currently in an emotional stage that shouldn't be tampered with by anybody. I'm planning on finishing season 6 within the next few days so until than, see ya cousin! Oh ya,**

**REVIEW PLEASE****, it will make my day!**

**Love ya,**

**Annie.**


	3. What is his problem?

**AN- Hello my wonderful patient people, please don't kill me. So like I told you before, my throat was all messed up I lied. Well, sort of. I THOUGHT that is what it was but it was my lungs that were the real problem. I have inflammation in my lungs. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but it was supposed to go away within the first two weeks and it started in February… 4 months later here I am. Still not feeling any better. I'm not going to tell my parents cause they already spend too much money on me for doctors appointments. **

**And that's why I haven't been writing. I know there's no real excuse but I tried. So you have to give me credit for that. If you care (you probably don't) I'll tell you an update next chapter. YAY.**

**Happy Fourth!**

**Now for the story…**

_POV Clary_

I woke up to a knock. Well, it was more of a bang than a knock but still.

For a second, a perfectly good second, I had convinced myself that it was all a dream. That I would wake up in my bed with Jon knocking to tell me breakfast is ready. Maybe it was just a nightmare, a horrible, convincing nightmare.

Than, I opened my eyes. White, all white. Of course not; too good to be true.

"I'm coming in," I quickly checked my state of dress and than soon after remembered that I hadn't changed out of my day cloths. (Sweat pants and a T-shirt with a logo for some band I haven't listened to in a year.) What would I have changed into anyway?

I heard the door open before I saw it.

I glanced up for a second just to confirm that it was only the man –Jace- and I, alone. It was, and I couldn't figure out if that was a good or bad thing.

"Breakfast is downstairs, if you want it," he said. I decided it was best not to eat anything that the strange man gives me. I mean come on, that's day one pre-school right there. I shook my head in a silent no, with high hopes of him going away.

"You're not hungry?" He asked. I shook my head, hoping for him to take the hint,

"You're sure," he said it as a doubting statement, one eyebrow raised. I nodded. What was this the third time? I don't want to talk to you, jeez.

"Well do you want some cloths to change into?" I shook my head, the fourth time now, and wait for it, he still didn't leave. Shocker.

He sighed,

"Okay, well whenever you feel like it, you can eat or have water or change cloths, just yell when you want to. Just don't leave this room unless I tell you to, got it?" I nodded again, still refusing to speak to him.

He left without any more words. I looked around the room and now that the sun was coming up, I could see a door in the right hand corner of the room.

After a bit of weighing my decisions, I decided that if he didn't want me to leave the room, he would have locked the door.

With my heart beating practically out of my chest, I got off of the bed and reached for the handle of the door after walking a few steps.

I turned the knob. Unlocked. I couldn't decide whether this was a good thing or a bad thing but decided to open the door anyways. What's the worst thing that could happen?

Once the door was opened and I had taken my first step inside, all I could see was darkness.

Than I realized the light wasn't on. Nice going Clary. I reached to my left in a first attempt to find a light switch, lucky guess, my hand landed right on it. I flicked it on.

I audibly gasped, my jaw slack with shock. I saw me. Me everywhere. I'm not exaggerating either. There were pictures of me talking to Jon, pictures of me at school, pictures of me eating, and pictures of me sleeping. There were even a few pictures of me changing and in the shower. All through my life, I saw pictures of me at the hospital when my liver failed in the first grade and me as a baby, sitting in a cradle. I was disgusted beyond words; I needed to get out of there. I reached for the door that lead back into my room and turned the handle.

Locked. What? How did this even happen? It was opened a few seconds ago… Oh lord. I'm going to have to stay in here until he either 1. Finds me missing from my room or 2. Comes in here to add to his stalker shrine. What was his problem anyway?

I considered kicking down the door, but there were two problems with that; I didn't know how to kick down a door and it might make noise that he could hear.

There was another door that probably lead into a hallway or something but it was too risky for me to be out there, He told me to stay in my room and I disobeyed.

I would just have to face the consequences when they came.

**AN- Sorry, I know it's a short chapter, but at least you got something right? Right? *****Laughs nervously***** so do you think I should try to fit some Alec and Magnus in here eventually? I think I will but I want to know your opinion, it always helps me. **** I'm sorry I cant put any Sizzy in here because it's just too difficult and you'll find out why soon enough. Anyway, thank you, my faithful, patient readers, and I will see you. Later. I don't know how later, but later. REVIEW!**

**Love ya,**

**Annie.**


	4. Found and Stuck

**AN- (****waves) Hello!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own the mortal instruments or any of the characters. **

**KyKat- your wish is my command. He'll be in the story soon! Do you want any Malec?**

_POV Clary_

I figured he would find me around lunchtime, and I was right. I'd been in the room about two hours, when I heard the knocking.

"Lunch, if you want it!" He shouted. I was shivering not because of the cold, but because I knew he would find me, I was shaking in fear. There was silence, and than,

"Clarissa? I'm coming in," I heard the door open, and than more quiet. I was deciding if I should or should not speak up when. After a moment the door opened. The door to the stalker room, that is.

"Why?" With just one word I was thrown into tears. I don't know why I was crying. Was it out of fear? Out of sorrow? I would wager a bit of both.

"Why are you in here? I don't know! I told you not to leave the room, did you not hear me?" Tears were flowing down my face now, but he showed no sympathy. I buried my head between my knees, to hide my face.

"Are you freaking deaf? When I ask you a question, you answer it!" He was mad, even a blind man could see it.

"I heard you," It came out as a whisper, weak. Just like me.

"Than why did you disobey me?" He was what I liked to call scary calm now.

"The door was unlocked," It was a pathetic excuse, but it was the truth, I didn't think he would appreciate being lied to. I heard footsteps coming towards me, light footsteps, surprisingly.

He lifted my head to face him with only one hand,

"You look at me when I talk to you, understood?"

"Yes," I lowered my eyes. There was a sting on my right cheek a burning sensation; it hurt. He had hit me.

"Did you not just hear me? Look at me when I speak to you!"

"I'm sorry," I had stopped crying now but there was still water in my eyes, and tearstains on my face. He sighed,

"Did you see the pictures?" I only nodded. Jace shook his head and glanced away.

"I'm sorry, alright? I had to," he said, and I almost believed him.

"You had to?"

"Yes," his eyes snapped back to mine.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you never do,"

He walked to the door,

"Are you coming?" He asked, I nodded, got up, and followed him out of the room.

Lunch was fast, just a few sandwiches, and when I was done, I waited for Jace to finish to. We were the only ones at the table and I was starting to wonder exactly how many people were here besides him and I. Probably not many, I decided after a moment of thought. I haven't seen a single face the last day besides Jaces.

Once he was done, I questioned the whereabouts of my room and he jus laughed,

"You're not going back to your room," he said like it was a common fact.

"Well than where am I going?" I asked a bit unnerved.

"The training room."

"What's the training room?"

"My sex room," he said it simply. My face was one of pure disgust.

He had the nerve to laugh again,

"I'm only joking, your face was hilarious though," I scowled at him, though I doubt he cared. I almost got the courage to tell him not to joke about that, but than decided against it. There was no point; he would do what he wanted.

"Just follow me," his tone left no room for argument, so I followed him to the not-sex room.

We had to walk down three different hallways and rounded five corners before we got there, but when we did, you could say I was a bit unsettled.

The room looked like any other besides the fact that it was covered it a black paint when all the other doors where white.

Jace took a key out of his jean pocket, and stuck it in the key lock, turned, and than the door was opened.

Inside, the room consisted of all sorts of weapons and targets and cases and cleaners and I didn't know what to make of it. Why was I here? Did he intend to kill me?

"What do you want to start with?" He asked, picking up a rather large knife.

"What do you mean?" I asked, hoping for the best.

"What do you want to learn how to use first?" He had a habit of making people feel like idiots. I was perplexed. Me? Using a weapon?

"No," I said. Than quickly recovered my mistake, he made me feel uneasy, and I didn't want to be hit again.

"I mean I can't even drive a car, not even a go cart, and now your expecting me to use a weapon? A real weapon?"

He looked at me,

"I'm sure you'll do great," he tried to reassure me, but I wasn't buying it.

"Well I'm not," I wasn't backing down, not now.

"It's easy Clarissa, like riding a bike," I could see he wasn't, either.

"Jace, no, can't I do something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like I don't know… leave? Please?" I knew the answer before I asked the question, but I needed answers, and I needed them now, that, and a distraction.

"You know I can't do that,"

"No, I don't,"

"Well, now you do," he almost seemed sad, but I wasn't having it.

"Why can't you let me go?" It came out strong, the opposite of what I was feeling now.

He didn't say anything for a long time, and I began to think he wouldn't respond.

"Look, if you don't want to start training today, you don't have to, but you will have to start tomorrow, understood?"

"Yes,"

"Good, I'll take you back to your room, I'll come back in an hour,"

"Okay," I replied, relieved.

And we left.

**AN- so… what did you think? Teel me in a review! They make me write faster! Love ya,**

**-Annie**


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